


Weltschmerz

by Areiton



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Castiel-centric, College AU, Grieving, I wrote my feelings, M/M, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-10
Updated: 2016-11-10
Packaged: 2018-08-30 03:33:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8516944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Areiton/pseuds/Areiton
Summary: The whole world felt silent.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Not gonna even pretend this is anything but me working through my feelings about the election results. That's it. That's what fandom does for me--it provides a safe place for me to work through my own issues (See A Silent Love Story) and wish fulfillment (see every cockles story ever). Today I needed to process the way the world felt like it was grieving.   
> That's what you're getting here. Fair warning.

**Weltschmerz**

 

**_Weltschmerz_ ** _: Despair caused by the state of the world._

 

The whole world was silent.

That’s how it felt, as he dragged himself from bed. His fiancé slept on, curled into the pillow, and Castiel felt a pang of loss, leaving him there.

It had been a long time since he had seen Dean cry, but he did, last night.

But it wasn’t just the silence of the house as he dressed, even Lucifer silent as he watched from the counter while Castiel poured coffee and made a sandwich for Dean’s lunch. It wasn’t just the eerie images flickering on the TV that had long since been muted.

It was the somber quiet of the radio.

The almost funeral-like hush on campus, as he walked to his lecture hall.

It was the sniffles in the middle of his lecture, and the near silence that clung to the students as he spoke.

It was the quiet on his phone, usually alive with tweets and Facebook updates and even tumblr, since Claire had insisted on adding it to his phone.

It was the quiet of the cafe when he stopped for coffee and the way Sam sat hunched and still on his couch during his office hours, reading without seeming to see the pages.

It felt like mourning.

It felt like fear.

He is only a little surprised when he comes home to a full house. Dean and Charlie are on the couch together, watching The Force Awakens. Benny is in the kitchen, filling the house with the scent of spice and chicken. Sam and Gabe are asleep in the overstuffed chair, curled like puppies around each other.

And even here, where there is safety and warmth and the family they've built, it is still and quiet.

Aaron Bass emerges from the guest bathroom and Castiel hesitates. Aaron has always been a problem for Castiel. He was roommates with Dean, and in the same class Castiel taught when Dean was his distracting gorgeous student.

He had been in love with Dean, and Dean had used it, flaunted it, shoved in in Castiel's face to goad the professor into finally making a move.

And now he was here. Looking handsome and nervous and just as grief stretched as every at risk person Castiel had seen today.

He can feel the weight of silence on him still, and Dean's eyes.

"Is your family safe?" Castiel asks, and the other man blows out a breath.

A noise that feels very loud in the silence that’s coated them and very much like relief.

"For now," he answers, giving Castiel a weak smile.

"Tell us if you need anything."

It's an offer he's made before, to friends and family and it's never felt more needed than this moment.

It helps. It breaks some of the tension, the fear that’s wrapped him up in a cocoon of silence. Dean draws him down, smooshed between him and Charlie, his fingers twisting with Castiel's and his head on the older man’s shoulder while the movie plays and they sit in silence together.

A strange but warm family. He wonders how long it will last. If this new president will rip them apart, rip away the chance to marry before they can say their vows.

And he knows that even when the world fights them, they’ll fight back. They’ll fight back for the family they’ve built, and the love they’ve created.

They’ll fight the whole damn world, for this.

Still. Tonight.

It feels like a vigil, a mourning, as the world they had known faded and they greet the new one.

Later, in bed, Dean curls close to Cas and kisses him in the silence, and Castiel breathes.

The world was silent today. Grief stricken and mourning.

But love is still there.

 


End file.
